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40 Funny American Football Quotes

When we think of American Football, the first thing that strike our mind is NFL or the National Football League. Various players and peoples related to this league are famous for making memorable quotes maybe it’s inspirational or threatening. The 32 teams participating in the league makes it a special one. It is the highest level of American Football in the World. But this article is slightly different from others with a collection of funny American football quotes. It was a great fun collecting these quotes from the internet and putting together in a list but still for the sake of all football lovers this article has been created. So you must be thinking of the valuable quotes made by valuable peoples of this famous league. Actually you should know that there is never a dull moment at NFL. And now let’s start peeking on the quotes below and try to remember the situation of the mentioned quotes.

Funny American Football Quotes:

1. “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” – Joe Theismann
2. “I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid” – Terry Bradshaw
3. “Most football players are temperamental. That’s 90% temper and 10% mental” – Doug Plank
4. “I never graduated college, but I was only there for two terms – Truman’s and Eisenhower’s” – Alex Karras

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5. “We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. We can’t kick. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now.” – Bruce Coslet
6. “Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.” – Don Shula
7. “I’m travelling to all 51 States to see who can stop 85” – Chad Ochocinco/Johnson
8. “I feel like I’m the best, but you’re not going to get me to say that.” – Jerry Rice

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9. “If I drop dead tomorrow, at least I’ll know I died in good health.” – Bum Phillips
10. “Not only does he have the NFC East record for touchdowns, but also the team record.” – Emmitt Smith
11. “If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year?” – Duane Thomas
12. “I have 2 weapons; my arms, my legs and my brain.” – Michael Vick

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13. “We’re going to start with the injury report, obviously. Manning, Clark, Addai, Reggie Wayne, Freeney, Mathis, Brackett — all those guys will not play. Oh, hold up. That was my wish list for Santa Claus.” – Rex Ryan
14. “It isn’t like I came down from Mount Sinai with the tabloids.” – Ron Meyer
15. “Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they’re bigger than everybody else, and that’s what makes them the biggest guys on the field.” – John Madden
16. “Tell Ray to put the eyeliner, the lipstick and the high heels away. I’m not saying he’s a cross-dresser, that’s just what I heard.” – Shannon Sharpe

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17. “It’s like my ex-wife. 21 different personalities and seven of them hated me.” – Jack Rose
18. “Most of my clichés aren’t original.” – Chuck Knox
19. “Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can’t play football worth a damn.” – John McKay
20. “The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract” – Spider Lockhart

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21. “I’ve been big ever since I was little” – William ‘The Refrigerator’ Perry
22. “The people don’t take baths and they don’t speak English. No golf courses, no room service. Who needs it?” – Jim Mc Mahon.
23. “Well, we’ve determined that we can’t win at home and we can’t win on the road. What we need is a neutral site.” – John Mc Kay.
24. “You guys line up alphabetically by height.” – Bill Peterson.

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25. “Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.” – Metro Radio.
26. “He is the only man I ever saw who ran his own interference” – Steve Owen
27. “The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.” – Phyliss Diller.
28. “I was the originator of smack. Some guys rattle with smack; with other guys it rolls right off their shoulders like nothing.” – Deacon Jones.

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29. “Rapport? You mean like, You’ll run as fast as you can, and I’ll throw it as far as I can?” – Jeff Kemp.
30. “You don’t have to win it; just don’t lose it.” – Linebacker Ray Lewis.
31. “I’m a light eater. As soon as it’s light, I start to eat” – Art Donovan.
32. “I’d catch a punt naked, in the snow, in Buffalo, for a chance to play in the NFL.” – Steve Henderson.

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33. “There will always be hope for our country as long as more people watch Monday Night Football than Friends.” – Michael Logsdon.
34. “Distance running to a professional athlete in my day was five laps around the field. And you stopped each lap to take your pulse.” – Lynn Swann.
35. “Detroit’s so bad this year they might lose their bye week.” – Dennis Miller.
36. “We’re as clean as any team. We wash our hands before we hit anybody.” – Nate Newton.

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37. “I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a household word today.” – President Gerald Ford.
38. “People say I’ll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.” – Craig Heyward
39. “I’m a firm believer that all sports will eventually be global. Someday, we may have a quarterback from China named Yao Fling.” – Paul Tagliablue
40. “I love me some me.” – Terrell Owens.

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Now you are already holding a great account of funny American football quotes. The above 40 quotes are all collected from the internet in one place for your ease. These quotes are really the assets of American football. And will live always among us. Even it reminds us about the people who made these comments. But remember we have tried to collect only 40 of them according to their popularity. But there are more such funny comments made by peoples related with NFL. And lastly, long live NFL and long live such beautiful quotes.

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